I read all the Twilight books and I only have one question. If all the humans that become vampires are beautiful then what happens if a fat, potato couch gets turned into a vampire? Does he turn beautiful too or will he be dazzling and have white skin and still be fat and lumpy?
I’m having a bit of a writer’s block so I’m going to try and push the truck that’s in my brains to make it’s way through the mud anyway.
So here goes: Twilight!
The third movie is going to be out soon and I cant wait to watch it but no, Im not a die hard Twilight fan. I enjoyed the books, it was well written and it was relatively light and easy to read. It dealt with relatively simple issues (as compared to books like The Da Vinci Code, The Lost Symbol, Eragon, Acacia among others) and it was relatively predictable at time and enjoyable if your not a harsh critic. Stephanie Meyer has just enough writing skills to make it a good read but sometimes you just wish it was a tad better. Hard to explain but if you’ve read tonnes of books, most of them not as famous as Twilight but definately much better written with a more stimulation plot, you tend to have higher expectations on overrated books like this.
Stephanie Meyer is SOOO good that by her writing, she has succeded in making ME, a relatively unhating person, dislike Bella Swan more than anything else. I mean, Bella Swan is the most silly girl I’ve ever read about. (Sorry, it IS personal.) I have nothing against the fact that she is a quiet, timid, clumsy girl. I dont mind her being kind and soft and sensitive. (Wait a sec! There IS a difference between soft and sensitive! Sensitive is good! A soft lead character is just so irritating!)
But what I absolutely CANNOT stand is the fact that Bella Swan falls for Edward then befriends Jacob then ditches Jacob when Edward comes back but still is emotionall involved with him. That’s cheating, whether you like it or not. She toyes with feelings and wants em both and this indirectly gives message to all young female readers that hey! It’s okay to like and want to guys cause guys are suckers and I’m gonna get away with it and it will all end good. Yeap, but we all know how untrue that is in reality. I want and like simple, straightforward, two people relationship. Triangles and squares are a no no for me. Told you it’s personal.
So yeah, that’s why I dislike Bella Swan and I find it a little disconcerning that she is supposed to be ordinary but she has all this hot guys swooning over her. I also dont like Reneesme that much but thats only because she’s spoilt and she’s Bella’s kid. (Am I the only one who thinks that it’s weird that Reneesme is imprinted to Jacob? I mean, come on, that’s just so gross! Whats he gonna tell her about his past girls ‘Oh the girl I was in love with before you was your mum! Yeah I had the hots for her and we even kissed! So now mother and daughter can compare notes) I like powdered gurgling babies, not babies that drink blood like milk (The idea is so wrong when it comes to babies for some reason).
So anyways, the movies on the other hand, is utter nonsense! I mean, as a whole, I dont know why these screen writes write the movie script sooo differently to how the book was originally written! It was be irritating at times, especially if you’ve followed the whole series for a long day (Think Harry Potter as well). Twilight falls in this category too. Since when does Bella make out with Jacob in front of Edward? NEVER! You can make changes to make the movie better, sure, but dont change important things like this! It disrupts the whole flow!
Oh and I dont find Robert Pat cute at all. And he looks ultra horrible as a vampire. I mean, if I was in Forks and I saw RobPat as Edward, I would think ‘Ewww..’ He looks like an overpowdered ghost! White powder only looks and smells good on babies. Robert Pat fails miserably as a vampire. He supposed to be hot and brooding and mysterious. Instead all he pulls off is confused, uncomfortable and make up overdosed.
I also think Jasper is ugly. He looks like a lost dog most of the time. Really. Actually, he looks like a possessed dog with shaggy golden hair. I have this image of him with his tongue hanging out of his mouth that will just not go away!
Only Alice, Emmett and Carslile look good in the movie (though Carslile look better as a brunetter). Out of all the characters in the book, I like Carslile and Alice the best. There is just something raw and honest about them that makes them likeable. Esme too though she doesn’t have quite an impact as the other two.
Taylor Lautner is hot. But well, his body is amazingly hot but his face is averagely good looking. I used to think he was super hot in the movie but when I saw pictures of him on the Red Carpet, he looked like a triangle. He had buff, broad shoulders and a tiny waist. Argh!
All the werewolf actors are pretty hot though. Great eye candy during the movie. They should ALWAYS keep their shirts off! Robert Pat should keep his shirt on at all times! I dont get the girls who say they were turned on by him, cause I was just like noooo wayyy!! I mean, he has a white scrawny looking chest and has sprawny, spirally strands of hair that looks lame and disgusting! I’m not asking him to be hairy but he just looks so lame shirtless. How can you be turned on by that?
[If you saw Bradley Cooper or Channing Tatum is awesome shirtless then I'd swoon along withcha cause they are the meaning of hot!]
So anyways, out of all of Meyer’s books, I like her latest novella the best, The Short Second life of Bree Tanner. Now, that was brilliantly written. Short but precise. Bree really gave me a new outlook on things and proved to me that Bella truly is a er, sissy. (Bree thought she looked like a pet, if she looked like a pet then you can guess who looked like the masters!)
So yes, despite it all, I still like the Twilight saga. It has flaws yes, but it keeps me entertained and hey, I even have something to blog about because of it! So, yes I will continue watching this saga but please please dont tell me that Robert Pattinson is handsome and hot because he’s not.
Long live vampires! (Yes, I secretly want to be one and my special ability will be the ability to move objects with my mind and control peoples mind. Who says you cant be a vampire and an X-men mutant at the same time? )