Yes, that is dues to my sudden, compulsive urge not to blog. haha.

Wicked sense of humour I have, dont I?

I kind of like to think that I’m sounding like Yoda from Star Wars right now but I guess I’m just flattering myself. That little puny green guy was sooo cute and adorable.

A lot has happened since I last blogged. I finish my internship, I went to Singapore, got sick, felt really homesick, came home then a few days later checked into the Ayurvedic Centre for my detox which was, by the way, torturous. Then I came home and stared pigging out again and have started to feel guilty again.

Brilliant cycle I have going on.

Plus my cousins and godmother are back from the UK since my grandfather is ill.

OH JOY. No, really, I mean it. Im HAPPY.

Kind of unlikely for me but I dont feel like writing much about what happened from the time I stopped (paused) blogging till today. So I will just move forward I guess.

Hmm. 21 more days till I’m off to London! Countdown has started and I dont know whether to feel glad or scared. I mean, I’ve been looking forward to this day since I knew college and universities existed and yet, now that the time is approaching, I realized I”m gonna miss my comfort zone. My home, my room, my family, my friends. Everything that I’ve known for the past 18 years of my life is being left behind.

Since I put it that way, it sure is scary huh?

I mean, I’m nervous about whether I’ll make good friends, whether I’ll fit in, whether people will like me, whether I will be able to deal with my studies. All these thoughts are making me feel insecure…

I should probably pause by ranting for a moment and explain here that today is not my best day. I’m feeling depressed and down and really really low. Things have been a tad complicated lately and I dont know, I guess there are too many things running through me right now. Plus I think it’s gonna be that particular time of the month again so I could pin all these mood swings to that (Plus I need something to blame for all the chocolate I’ve been eating today.)

So yeah, that’s it. Now Im missing my best friend! Oh gosh Mei Theng! How will I ever survive without you??

Im going off to a shopping haven and I’m leaving my shopping buddy behind. How uncool is that?

See what a blumberring mess I’m in.

On the bright side, I guess this post marks the day that Kaitlin Marian comes back to blogging.

Dont expect too many blog posts though, I’m a busy (Okay, yes kind of lazy as well) woman.

Toodlelloos!

xx

It’s Tuesday today. My second last day at work. Monday, surprisingly few by amazingly fast. I spent the whole of yesterday sitting in a colleague’s place (She was on leave yesterday and today, just my luck since now, I actually have a computer with internet access to spend my time on.). My boss took me out for lunch as well. She took me to Paddington’s House of Pancakes. I was pleasantly pleased at the food there. I had this pancake dish which came with chicken and mash potatoes and all. It was awesome! It was called San Fransisco Pancake or something. Then for dessert we had this little pancakes with ice cream which was delicious. I was so stuffed!

Then after that amazing lunch (Boss did most of the talking, I, not so much), back to the office and before I knew it, it was 5.30 and I had my farewell dinner to attend. Joyee, Regina, Mandy and myself cam-whored abiT as well. Then about 20 or so of the interns came, half of which I have honestly never seen before. There was this couple among them who were really irritating. They just came in two weeks ago so I’ve never seen them till last night. They were all lovey dovey, dint join in the conversation, plus they kept talking in this accent which is acceptable if they spent years studying abroad but the girl only talked with the accent because the guy is of Mixed blood. (British plus Chinese but he has mata sepet anyways)

Besides that, it was all good. A little awkward at times but they were all darlings anway.

Which reminds me, I had an awesome Saturday with my girlfriends 4 days ago. We went to Mid Valley to watch Sex and the City2. The movie was great. There were some negative critisimn about the movie but I honesty found it fine. A good chick flick. We wow-ed at some of the outfits and cringed at the rest of it. For a fashion movie, I sure as hell wont wear half of what they wore on the movie.

Then we had lunch and had a good laugh watching this group of young Indian kids dating. Seriously, they had more PDA than the average 20 year old. These kids start young. We laughed so much till one of the girls felt insecure and kept flashing us angry glances which made us laugh even more. She tought we were looking at her boyfriend who no offence, looked like a scarecrow!

Then Kalai and Daya had to go back so Mei Theng and I went shopping. I got this cute knitted hat and also some headbands which were super cute. We reached home at 8pm and boy, was I tired.

Sunday, I had to get up early to go to church. Then I had a late breakfast afterward which made me skip my lunch which made me regret ever skipping my lunch. Yes, by 5pm I felt so sick I seriously thought I was going to be sick. Never skip meals. Gosh.

I went to the ayurvedic doctor with my mum and he booked us in for the detox treatment I was pestering my mum I wanted to go for. I so wanna get rid of all the pimples and blemished that mysteriously came this year after years of relatively good skin. Plus I want to clean myself inside out and this is a safe, healthy way to do so since I can NEVER survive on a diet.

So yeah. That’s what happened. The blog is all over the please and I’m feeling irritated that it’s all over the place which makes me want to not blog.

ARGH! Such a mess, such a mess. Stupid blog. I dont know what to write now. Plus the view rates have decreased the past day or so, so I dont even have the mood to write something silly or ridiculous. I’ve lost my writing sparkle! Oh dang, whatever. Logging off now! Till later (whenever that may be).

I’m having a bit of a writer’s block so I’m going to try and push the truck that’s in my brains to make it’s way through the mud anyway.

So here goes: Twilight!

The third movie is going to be out soon and I cant wait to watch it but no, Im not a die hard Twilight fan. I enjoyed the books, it was well written and it was relatively light and easy to read. It dealt with relatively simple issues (as compared to books like The Da Vinci Code, The Lost Symbol, Eragon, Acacia among others) and it was relatively predictable at time and enjoyable if your not a harsh critic. Stephanie Meyer has just enough writing skills to make it a good read but sometimes you just wish it was a tad better. Hard to explain but if you’ve read tonnes of books, most of them not as famous as Twilight but definately much better written with a more stimulation plot, you tend to have higher expectations on overrated books like this.

Stephanie Meyer is SOOO good that by her writing, she has succeded in making ME, a relatively unhating person, dislike Bella Swan more than anything else. I mean, Bella Swan is the most silly girl I’ve ever read about. (Sorry, it IS personal.) I have nothing against the fact that she is a quiet, timid, clumsy girl. I dont mind her being kind and soft and sensitive. (Wait a sec! There IS  a difference between soft and sensitive! Sensitive is good! A soft lead character is just so irritating!)

 But what I absolutely CANNOT stand is the fact that Bella Swan falls for Edward then befriends Jacob then ditches Jacob when Edward comes back but still is emotionall involved with him. That’s cheating, whether you like it or not. She toyes with feelings and wants em both and this indirectly gives message to all young female readers that hey! It’s okay to like and want to guys cause guys are suckers and I’m gonna get away with it and it will all end good. Yeap, but we all know how untrue that is in reality. I want and like simple, straightforward, two people relationship. Triangles and squares are a no no for me. Told you it’s personal.

So yeah, that’s why I dislike Bella Swan and I find it a little disconcerning that she is supposed to be ordinary but she has all this hot guys swooning over her. I also dont like Reneesme that much but thats only because she’s spoilt and she’s Bella’s kid. (Am I the only one who thinks that it’s weird that Reneesme is imprinted to Jacob? I mean, come on, that’s just so gross! Whats he gonna tell her about his past girls ‘Oh the girl I was in love with before you was your mum! Yeah I had the hots for her and we even kissed! So now mother and daughter can compare notes) I like powdered gurgling babies, not babies that drink blood like milk (The idea is so wrong when it comes to babies for some reason).

So anyways, the movies on the other hand, is utter nonsense! I mean, as a whole, I dont know why these screen writes write the movie script sooo differently to how the book was originally written! It was be irritating at times, especially if you’ve followed the whole series for a long day (Think Harry Potter as well). Twilight falls in this category too. Since when does Bella make out with Jacob in front of Edward? NEVER! You can make changes to make the movie better, sure, but dont change important things like this! It disrupts the  whole flow!

Oh and I dont find Robert Pat cute at all. And he looks ultra horrible as a vampire. I mean, if I was in Forks and I saw RobPat as Edward, I would think ‘Ewww..’ He looks like an overpowdered ghost! White powder only looks and smells good on babies. Robert Pat fails miserably as a vampire. He supposed to be hot and brooding and mysterious. Instead all he pulls off is confused, uncomfortable and make up overdosed.

I also think Jasper is ugly. He looks like a lost dog most of the time. Really. Actually, he looks like a possessed dog with shaggy golden hair. I have this image of him with his tongue hanging out of his mouth that will just not go away!

Only Alice, Emmett and Carslile look good in the movie (though Carslile look better as a brunetter). Out of all the characters in the book, I like Carslile and Alice the best. There is just something raw and honest about them that makes them likeable. Esme too though she doesn’t have quite an impact as the other two.

Taylor Lautner is hot. But well, his body is amazingly hot but his face is averagely good looking. I used to think he was super hot in the movie but when I saw pictures of him on the Red Carpet, he looked like a triangle. He had buff, broad shoulders and a tiny waist. Argh!

All the werewolf actors are pretty hot though. Great eye candy during the movie. They should ALWAYS keep their shirts off! Robert Pat should keep his shirt on at all times! I dont get the girls who say they were turned on by him, cause I was just like noooo wayyy!! I mean, he has a white scrawny looking chest and has sprawny, spirally strands of hair that looks lame and disgusting! I’m not asking him to be hairy but he just looks so lame shirtless. How can you be turned on by that?

[If you saw Bradley Cooper or Channing Tatum is awesome shirtless then I'd swoon along withcha cause they are the meaning of hot!]

So anyways, out of all of Meyer’s books, I like her latest novella the best, The Short Second life of Bree Tanner. Now, that was brilliantly written. Short but precise. Bree really gave me a new outlook on things and proved to me that Bella truly is a er, sissy. (Bree thought she looked like a pet, if she looked like a pet then you can guess who looked like the masters!)

So yes, despite it all, I still like the Twilight saga. It has flaws yes, but it keeps me entertained and hey, I even have something to blog about because of it! So, yes I will continue watching this saga but please please dont tell me that Robert Pattinson is handsome and hot because he’s not.

Long live vampires! (Yes, I secretly want to be one and my special ability will be the ability to move objects with my mind and control peoples mind. Who says you cant be a vampire and an X-men mutant at the same time? )

That, obviously, did not happen because I’m here now to blog about something completely different!

You see, I woke up today and it seemed like any other ordinary Friday. Then as I was brushing my teeth and dozing off at the sink simultaneously, my mum comes barging into the bathroom and excitedly tells me (How can anyone be excited at  6.30 in the morning??) that Aunty Rat got the job in UK.

K, let me explain, Aunty Rat is my aunt (Duh) and she is a lecturer in MMU. She got an offer from a college in UK to work and she went there for an interview. She said the interview was gruesome and challenging. So when we got the news that she got it, well, even I was happy and excited. As happy and excited as I can get at 6.30 in the morning. (Which means, I went ‘Urg, gat’s great ma’)

So thats the first good news. The second good news I got was that Uncle Johnson, one of the happiest, fun uncles I know who was a little down in the dumps recently, got a new job. Now, it was 7.30am when I heard this so I did manage to shriek and say’ OMG! That’s awesome. I’m so so happy for him!’ and I was genuinely pleased.

I mean, I was going to be living with him and my aunt once I’m in London so I naturally want everyone to be really happy there cause then I can be in a happy, loving atmosphere. Hey, I have happy needs!

Oh and I ate this horrible oats for breakfast that had no taste at all and I kept retching. Yucks! But it makes me SUPER FULL so I dont feel hungry now. Hmm.

So well, good news three, my visa is done. Phew. Now I just have to pick it up. So leceh!

So  yes, I come to the 4th thing now which I’m not sure is good or bad-ish news. .

Today I have to do clearance at the IT department. Which means, today is the last day that I will have my office computer, my last day with an account to use the comp, my last day with my office email and the last day I can be online at work (3 days left to work without the Internet, how will I survive??)

And since today is my last virtual day at work on the computer, I’ve been getting the sweetest ever emails from my fellow VT’s and other colleagues.

You see, I’m actually looking forward to leaving here, I mean I did enjoy my internship here but I really want to hang loose before I start college. So I’ve got no hard feelings leaving. BUT, the one thing that I would miss is the people here. And  they being so nice now doesnt help as well! Ish!

My work email is gonna be wiped clean soon so Im gonna paste two of my favorite emails that I received today.

Dear Kaitlin,

I’ll miss you sweetie and thank you for helping me with the fax machine the other day.I’ll always remember the sweet little girl that I met on the first day of orientation

Thanks for being you and a good friend.

I hope that we’ll meet again someday in the future ( I can’t wait)

Lastly, good luck in all your future endeavors (especially in law school J )

With lots of love,Natalie

Kaitlin Dearie:

Indeed It was nice getting to know you and feeling sad that you have to leave & will miss you too.  Anyway It’s good thing as you’re embarking new phase in life as “college” student – more exciting and challenging as you move along in life.  Sincerely, I do wish you all the very best in whatever do, wherever you are & stay as the same sweet young thing I have known.  Please take care & don’t forget to have fun too.  God Bless you.

Warmest Regards, Cassie

Quotes:

“That is what learning is.  You suddenly understand something you’ve understood all your life but in a new way” – Doris Lessing, author.

“My education was interrupted only by my schooling” – Winston Churchill (I love this phrase!)

 The first one is from Natalie, a really nice girl studying at Hong Kong and the second one is from Cassie, a personal assistant of one of the big partners here.

Who wont cry reading this? Gosh. Really made me teary-ly sad. Aiya! Leaving is gonna be harder than I thought now! I really love these people – Joyee, Cassie, Regina, Sue Ann, Nat, Ling Yok, Joanne, Norzie, Ms Cindy, Mandy. I am going to enjoy every moment I can left here!

Plus everyone is being super nice to be and people are stopping me to bid me farewell and all the best and GOSH!

Plus there is another darling called Sue Ann who is organizing a farewell for me on Monday at Simply Penang and she reserved the place and all.

Why are they being soo super sweet??

I’m not trying to sound ungrateful but I’m honestly so really touched that I dont really know what to do with myself right now.

                                     ……………………………………………………..

On a brighter note, tomorrow is my girls day out with my besties Daya, Kalai and Mei Theng, who one of my favorite girls of all time! Sex and the City 2, HERE WE COME! The movie is to be followed by shopping and gossip gossip gossip!

Wooohhhooooooooooo!!!!

So here is to my last Friday at work! I love you people!

Joyee and I rushed to Cotton On immediately after work and there were sooo many people there! I dont like crowded shops because I cant shop in peace and I’m in constant fear that the people around me might take something I like in my size and I wont be able to get it.

So I browsed around and I saw a few cute skirts but, horror behold!, they were out of size! Just my luck! Even Joyee was a tad dissapointed.

So I continued browsing when I saw a beautiful sign that said RM50 for 2 shoes!

Now I must warn you that I love ballet shoes! I love em so much because I dont have em. Yeap. You always think the grass is greener on the other side kan?

So well yes, I got majorly excited and I chose a black pair and a bronze pair! Its comfortable too.

The shoes there are fab and cause its all on sale its worth it. I dint buy more because I’m going off to London in two months and I already have 10 pairs of shoes I’m taking along with me so I have to limit myself. (Note: I have only ten pairs of shoes so yes, Im bringing everything. I cant bear to leave any behind in case I need to wear it)

I also got a pair of black tights cause all my full leg tights have dissapeared.

Joyee picked 12 outfits and bought none of them. Instead, before heading to the cashier, she choose this skirt, dint try it on and bought that instead.

To be honest, I dint buy any clothes there cause there were just too many people around for me to shop in peace!

So then, happy with our purchase, we then headed to Kitschen and well… I BLOODY HECK LOVE KITSCHEN!!!!!

Its FREAKING AWESOME! But please dont head over there now cause I want the place all to myself! Hehehe.

I entered heaven since everything was on discount!

I saw soooo many clothes there and some lovely dressed but I decided to be prudent and take the ones which were mega discounted only. I got a lovely, airy dress which is short so I look quite tall in it. Then I got a green blouse which makes me look tall as well since its slim cut but not too tight and is longish. I also got a jacket which I last saw on the runway model from my Hot Magazine. It looks awesome. PLus it was all discounted!

I also bought a thick, sequinced belt that makes my waist look tiny (Hides the extra pounds I put on since I started working) and also a pair of black shorts which was soo cool looking since it had three tiny studs on it which made it stand out.

I really wanted to insert pictures in this post but I cant find my camera charger so I cant take the pics. And once I put em in my closet (which has too much clothes but somehow I still have nothing to wear all the time), I’ll be too lazy to bring em out agian unless its to wear em.

All in all, I had a fantastic shopping day and now Mei Theng got influenced by my constant praise of this place so she’s going to shop there as well.

Did I mention that I had to RUN back to the carpark which was 15 minutes away and my legs hurt like nobody’s business. Former athletic konon.

I reached home, went on Facebook, yaked away to Daya and Mei Theng and noticed I was invited to an event. Kitlyn’s Farewell. I was wondering who on earth was this unknown chinese girl whose farewell I’ve been invited to. Then I found out that it was my farewell!

Good ol Sue Ann, a friend and collegue of mine is organizing it. It’s gonna be on next Monday, after work so I’m looking forward to it.

Then at work today, I the sweetest email ever from another collegue of mine, Chin Teck, inviting ALL 50 of the VTS to the farewell and saying some sweet things about me and how much I mean to him. I have never felt this love. I barely know this people and yet they are being so kind. *sighs*

I really am lucky.

I got further soul therapy when another collegue of mine gave me a box of home made tarts. She knew how much I loved em. It taste sooo awesome.

Then today, my boss gave me a gift! It’s a life hammer that can break windows, cut seatbelts, be a torchlight AND an emergency flash light. How nice are these people who I work with or what?

Then, tomorrow, my boss is treating the whole department to nasi briyani and pop water. lol.

Oh yeah, during lunch today, we went back to Cotton On and Joyee got two more skirts and I got another cute skirt as well.

Crazy shoppers, that’s what we are!

No wonder I feel so good today!

I also tried to win some tickets to the MTV Asia concert next month but to no avail! Damn! I so wanted to see Katy Perry and the other band whose name I suddenly forgot! Shit!

Ooopps! My transport is leaving me now! Gotta run! xx

Imma proud shopaholic!

Let’s face it. England truly sucked when they played against USA and Algeria. They players played horribly and that’s me being kind here. I’m no football expert and I barely understand all the football and match terms but even then I could see that the Englishman were lacking coordination and were not playing like a team. The goalkeeper who screwed up is forgiven (To me at least) I mean, he was man enough to admit he was wrong without blaming the ball or the pitch or other players or the weather. He owned up. Good enough for me.

So anyways, Slovenia was doing pretty well in that group and England hadnt won any matches yet. The England players looked tired and I guess they were probably exhausted after a hectic pre world cup season with their own leagues and all. And lets face it, these Englishman can be ABIT of sissies. I dont blame them. They can brave the cold weather as their bodies are all heated up due to the amount of exertion they go through. But their bodies are not accustomed to the heat  and Africa is hot hot hot! And to the smartasses who say that England is hot during the summer then let me tell you that there is a big difference. Trust me. Of course I may be wrong but I just LOVE to make scandalous statements like this!

So yes, when the match started, I was nervous, especially after Harvinth (who supports Portugal?) dared Euga (England supporter like me!) to post his status as Im a wanker if England loses and he (Harvinth) will do the same if England wins. [Harvinth really hates England.] (Update:Euga wasnt brave enough to make the deal, I mean, that’s just how much of faith he has in ol England! so it’s changed to ‘I suck’ now.)

England played relatively well. I only watched the first half, where the goal was scored and they came really close to scoring other goals as well. They played much better than usual, there was more spirit, more team-ness (not a word I know) and less drama. I was pretty impressed with Englands goalkeeper when I found out he is 41 years old. I mean, thats old in football standards and he is still a good keeper. (He plays for Portsmouth but even though they have a rocking keeper, the team still sucks)

Rooney looked lethargic and tired though. He did not play that well. Perhaps the heat was getting to him. He had pink splotches on his face. Ah well, all he needs is a steaming hot steam bath to open his pores, 1 litre of cold water, a cold shower (after steam bath) and a good nights rest to perk him up.

So, all in all, I’m glad England is through the next round but they still have lots of catching up to do if they want to get close enough to actually lifting that cup. England has some really good players (I dont like that stinking cheating rat but I gotta admit Ashley Cole played well last night) but they need to BUCK UP now.

I’m glad USA went through as well but it is dissapointing that Africa is out. The people there must be taking it hard, being the host and all.

Hmm.. I’ve never been to Africa before but I wonder if it rains as heavy as it does here in Malaysia. Probably not but I will be super excited if it does and there is a match going on. They will be drenched!

So although I’m not really following the World Cup and I couldnt really care less about who won the cup, I’m still faithfully rooting for dear old England. Go make us proud England! (Since Malaysia will never ever be in the World Cup -and even if they do, they will be so bad that I’ll pretend I dont know who they are-, I therefore pledge my eternal and everlasting support to the English footie team!)

………………………………………

Oh yes, if your wondering, Harvinth does need to admit he sucks now since England won and I bet Euga will be cursing himself for not keeping the deal to ‘Imma wanker!’

 PS. What’s a wanker??

Before I say anything else, I think I should at least admit that my last post was written with alot of emotion and I, being the occasional drama queen I can be, wrote it all out without second thought. So while all those emotions were what I truly felt at that time, now that I’ve slept on it and stopped dwelling on it, it’s not as bad as it seems anymore.

The anger feeling is gone and while if I think about it too much, I DO feel irritated, I just know that everyone is going to work out just fine, like it always does. Yeap, that’s me. The ever so optimistic Katie.

Which makes me wonder about my name sometimes.. I mean, my name is Kaitlin (only 5% of people I meet can pronounce it properly, K-8-lin, instead of the usual Kailin, Kite-lin or Katlin or even Katharine) but people know who me usually call me Kate. But there are a few exceptions who call me Katie instead. I usually dont allow people who I am not close to to call me Katie. I guess its because it was, first and foremost, a nickname only my grandmum called me (still is) but now, my dad, Aunty Aud, Rachael and Daya call me that as well.

Yes, I can count the number of people who call me Katie. LOL.

Katie sounds all, you know, sweet and darling-ish. Typical girl next door type. The sweet, pleasant, girl with the big smile type.

Kate, on the other hand, sounds like a type of person who is a little tougher, a go getter, a proffesional. The one who doesnt allow people to step over her head. The type that is serious and busy.

That’s  just in my opinion and I can safely say now that I am BOTH a Kate and a Katie. So I AM lucky to be named Kaitlin cause this way, I can be called both at different times, whichever one is more suitable at that moment.

Random huh?

Oh well, it’s Wednesday and after I go home today, I will have to brave only another 5 days of work before I’m free! Hehehe!

Work today was tough! My stomach felt quesy the whole day and my hands were full of glu, thanks to the million of envelopes I had to glu.

However, today is a special Wednesday because I have something to look forward to the moment the clock strikes 5.30. I’m going shopping with Joyee!!

WHEEE!!

Oh so shoot me. I’m a girl and yes, I love shopping. Deal with it.

Shopping is therapy to the soul. It makes you feel good!

So dug out my hidden cash stack to spend it today shopping at Kitschen and Cotton On, two new shops that Joyee introduced to me. It’s their sale so everything is on DISCOUNT! *cant wait*

Claire, my cousin, will be touching down in Malaysia this Friday and Suresh will be back next week and I CANT WAIT!

There are so many other things I wanna blog about now but I’ve got to do some stamping now and then its shopping time so till tomorrow!

I wonder why all these emotions come crashing in all at once. It’s exhausting to be sad. It really takes a toll on a person if he or she is angry. It is sooo not fun to be confused. And now imagine if you feel like this all at once.

Well if you managed to do it then congratulations! You know how I feel.

I’m so mixed up that I cant even pinpoint my own emotion right now. It’s all like a steady dull thud thud thud going on in my head.

Blah! It all started last night and it had everything to do with my daddy dearest. Why he has to be so difficult at times is beyond me. Why he has to be extremely complicated baffles me. Why he is the way he is can really really make me down sometimes.

I’m just so frustrated! I feel so angry. So hurt. And now the wait is killing me. The wait to see if he chooses between me, his own flesh and blood – daugter and SHE, his annoying, interfearing, controlling, manipulative b****.

Er, no no, she’s not his b*****, its his er, someone whose name shall not be mentioned in case it gets back to her, interfearing cow that she is.

I feel so mad! So so mad! And to a certain extent, I dont even know why I’m feeling like this.

I just want to lie in bed, under my blanket with my favorite bolster and pretend as if any of this is not happening right now.

I dont know what I’ll do if he chooses her over me. He did choose her actually, but then I dint know about it and he assumed I’d be okay with it. Hell to the NO! I was darn suprised, cause after all, it’s bloody hell concerning me! So I told him how I felt and now we have to see. I hate this deciding who to choose game that is going on and I certainly dint want it to come to this. But I’ve never stood my ground when it came to her and all those past hurts of her lying and manipulating me and everyone else has just made me say enough is enough.

Now to be fair, she is a perfectly lovely lady. She’s a good person but her bad qualities are just so overpowering and she is soo.. cunning that only a few people notice it. And it’s the people who dont try to suck up to her know it.

I’m scared now. I feel as if I’m losing ground. I feel lost, insecure and disorientated. I just want it to be all okay again!

God, please please help me. I feel so helpless right now. Oh my guardian angel, make everything work out please! You know what I want and what I need,  so please help me.

Then there are the not so obvious things that differenciate the two. A father can be a man who IS around when the baby is born is there throughout the child’s life but he doesnt provide much to the childs emotional and spiritual well-being. Only a real Dad gives a damn about all aspects of his child’s life. It doesnt matter how he shows it but as long as he does, it’s, to a certain extent, good enough.

I’m lucky because my dad is the type of Dad who fits the bill in all aspects. He lectures me endlessly. He tells me off. He is overprotective and overbearing. He treats me like a child even though I’m not legally an adult. He gives me limited privacy. He wants me to be single for the rest of my live. He wants me to stay in his house till I’m 35 years of age. He has high expectations and a strong, strange way on how I should lead my life (He doesnt impose it much on me though).

And yes, I feel frustrated at times but despite it all, I love my dad and also every one of his lectures,overprotective attitude and strange ideas. Cause, truth be told, all this little actions of his tells me that hey, he cares a whole of a lot and he’s not the type who’s gonna throw me out on my ass as soon as I’m an adult. It shows his true, everlasting, overflowing love he has for me.

You see, I understand my dad. He is not the type of guy who gives hugs randomly nor is he the type that has heart to heart chats with me. Heck, he’s not even the type who comes for every single event of mine at school!

And for years I wondered why he never came. The thought that he dint care did enter my mind more than once. Years later I found out the reason why he dint like to come for this little events of mine (Sports, debate, plays). He was scared. Yeah, he was scared that I’d lose or get hurt or that I might get distracted if I saw him. He was also afraid that he might get emotional if I did win and he said his nerves could’nt stand it.He prefered to sit alone at home, in the hall, in his favorite chair with the phone in his hand, for any sort of news that my mum might have (She came for EVERYTHING).

Then, he’d take us out for dinner when we came home.

That’s my dad.

The kind of guy who will wake up in the middle of the night to come and check on his children. The kind of guy who got all excited and bought enough medicine for a whole African tribe when one of my siblings got sick. The type of guy who even though his paycheck was low that month, would take us all out to eat. The type of guy who will send me and fetch me anywhere I want to go. The type of guy who buys me the stuff I want. The type of guy who takes the family out for outings and to the cinema. The type of guy who wanted to be involved whenever I was making any sort of big decisions.

He is who he is and he’s perfect in that way. He never tries to be somebody is not.

I am lucky to have him and though he may not be perfect in reality, he is the the perfect dad to me. He loves me and that’s enough reason for me to be happy and to be very very lucky and grateful.

So dad, I may get irritated and frustrated and angry at you sometimes but always know that I will love you unconditionally for the rest of my life. I’ll always be your little girl and now that I’m big enough, it’s my turn to catch you whenever you stumble. I love you dad.

I spent my Monday  running around, preparing for my visa application which was on Tuesday. I got that done on Tuesday after more running around (Seriously, the visa application process is just ridiculous. This cannot, that cannot, everything also want to make it so unnecesarily difficult. Gosh, the horror!).

So Wednesday, back to work (It felt worst than a Monday…) and after work, met up with my mum and sister at MidValley where my sister spent the whole day shopping (must have taken it after me). So, we had our dinner then we were walking when I saw this amazingly cute backback which was cream in colour with roses scattered all over it. It was beautiful. I showed it to my sister and she liked it as well so my mum bought it for her!

How unfair is that? (I REALLY fell in love with the bag ok..) But well, knowing my sister, she will get bored of it after awhile and if that happens, its all mine! hahaha. (This was the moment I was talking about)

So anyways, it’s my last two weeks and one day of work left (sentence sounds wrong) so I’m pretty excited about finishing my internship and enjoying the rest of my ‘holiday’ before I start college. I’m just praying times flies by.

I was filling in some of the forms I need to fill in (Weird sentence again. Hmm..) and I had to send my appraisal form to my boss. And guess what? She gave me a darn freaking good appraisal! I mean, its beyond good, its excellent! Din’t knew she liked me THAT much. haha.

So looks like I’m getting a good working experience report. So so happy! I love my boss!

By the way, did I mention that I know a lady who thinks I’m psychic? Seriously. She honestly believes it and she aint joking. I wish I was but then again, I prefer not to have any sort of communication with er, out of earth beings.

So that’s it for today I guess! Till tomorrow (Friday, oh JOY!).

Let’s me go on now to some of Samy Vellu’s amazing conquests!

Firstly, he managed to stay in politics for hell of a long time. It should’nt be a big deal if he was a good, honest, get-work-done politician, rallying for the rights and benefits of Indians in Malaysia (Even my smelly old school shoes smells better than this bunch of crap) but despite his claims that he is all that I mentioned in this paragraph, his actions seem to speak louder than his words. When he won elections a few years ago (again), everyone wondered how the heck did he manage to win. Even the other politicians were baffled at his suprising win. Now we find out that this desperado man is sooo desperate that he actually bought his win. Yeap, you heard me. He bribbeedd! With dirty dirty money.. Money, which, unsuprisingly, does not belong to him.

Which brings me to his second amazing feat: How he managed to con every other Indian out there of their hard-earned money around 30 years ago.

You see, I have first-hand information on this particular feat of his, seeing that my dad and his sisters were part of this big time scam of his. He was a budding politician back then, with his ‘bright’ ideas on how to bring Indians up in Malaysia. So, the genius decided to sell shares to all Indians out there. He urged every Indian to buy these shares and promised that in a few years time, they will profit by up to 30x or so. Basically he promised the sky and the moon.

You might ask ‘Why were these Indians who bought the shares so stupid as to believe something like that?’ Well, you must understand that 30 years ago, not many people in Malaysia were educated, least of all the Indians. We were an oppressed race, looked down, stomped upon by others. So, most Indians were trusting.They thought ‘Well here is a man, a rare Indian man willing to fight for our rights and help us out of poverty. He is so great, giving us an opportunity like this..’

I laugh at the ignorance of the generation back them yet I dont blame them entirely for this. He was a conman and for years, no one caught on on his bullshit. He took every penny these poor people had and he used it ALL for his own personal benefit, to make himself rich. Till now he still half-heartedly denies all this but guess what, his bullshitting ways have already been found out, he cant answer or defend himself without either sounding stupid, ridiculous or idiotic plus and better still, everyone hates him.

Recently, the major A hole over here tried to redeem himself by promising to give back some of the shares or something (I’m a little vague on this part cause this ‘redemption’ of his is still in the early stages so only time will tell if its real or another one of his many lies and deceptions) and when I followed my parents to MidValley, where the ‘redemption’ is taking place, I saw the room filled with elderly people, some of them in wheelchairs and some of them looking so frail that it broke my heart to know that these people were so full of hope 30 years ago that this investment would work out. We talked to a few of them and found out that most of them gave up their entire life-savings in hope that they would get benefits so that they could live better lives.

And let me make it clear that by better lives, for most of them it meant proper food to eat on the table, a better education and maybe a proper home.

So yes, Samy Vellu robbed them of that as well. It doesnt matter if this redemption of his is real or not, the damage of 30 years cannot be undone by one gesture which, is not his hardwork at all. We all know he is just trying to salvage whatever he can of his pride and money (Actually he has none left of the first one) and that as soon as he (as if) gets it back, he will discard us all again.

So, to top it all, dear Samy can add ‘Robber’, ‘Thief’ and ‘Major A hole’ to his resume. Impressive really.

I was told that Samy has many many other feats that can put anyone’s resume and work experience to shame (Really, how many people can claim they have been involved in money laundering, blackmailing Government AND private workers, manipulation of the system etc etc.??) but I shant mention them because I dont really have much facts other than he is all that I mentioned in the first paragraph of this post. I dont shoot my mouth like dear dear Samy here and perhaps this is a lesson that he should learn from me. Oh wait, I forgot that he cant learn any lessons anymore due to the extinction of his brain cells and I strongly suspect, his male items as well (No proof sadly). Pity pity. 

Samy Vellu, you have made a fool out of yourself and you have done an amazing job in making everyone hate the very mention of your name. You really suck big time and when I am angry, I wish that you would be bitten by a million mosquitoes . However, I have something that you dont have, I have faith, religion and forgiveness in my nature and although its darn hard and is a real task for me, after writing this, my anger has somewhat evaporated and I find it easier to forgive you. Actually, not really, what made me happier is the fact that karma is a bitch and it will come and bite you straight in the ass.

So all the best and I will really really, honestly pray for you when the time comes for you to meet the Big Guy up there. Total damnation just might be perfectly suited for you but since its not up to me to decide, I’ll just be contended with the fact that you will deserve what you get. God bless your soul.

**End of rant**

Before the movie started, there were two guys behind us talking really loudy. Becky kept throwing them irritated glances but being the clueless specimens they are, they dint notice it. Then when I took my scarf out of my bag, they were like ‘She brought a blanket!’. Unfortunately I dint hear this (Becky did and she told me) or else I would have really turned behind, shoved my scarf in their faces and said ‘It’s a scarf silly. Only babies like you use blankets.’ Or I might have even said ‘ It’s a scarf silly. I should have expected people like you to not know the difference between blankets and clothing items. But then again, I dint really notice you.’ It sucks how I only think of great comebacks way after the moment passes. Haih, people are just so daft sometimes.

Oh well. Movie started with some action packed stuff so it was awesome from the beginning. Bradley Cooper who played Face is super super hot. Not only is his face cute but he has a oogle worthy body as well. So toned and I dont know, manly. (If you live in a house with two skinny younger brothers where the only thing you can see on them is bones, then you really start appreciating movie stars with good bodies.)

Jessica Biel was not bad as well. I laughed when she and Face kissed cause I found it funny how the guards were looking at them as they kissed. One moment they were hauling Face into the armoured truck and one second later, they are allowing him to smooch Jessica Biel’s character. It’s the kind of funny where you have to be there to see it to enjoy it.

Lotsa other funny moments in the movie but suddenly really tired to write anything.

Well, before the movie, I went to the notary public to notorize some documents for my visa application tomorrow. There, I skimmed through a book on intellectual property. Pretty interesting actually. My mum was trying to brainwash my sister to become a doctor at the same time. She gave me the same talk years ago (and recently repeated it as well) so I know she means well but sometimes, these things just spell out  BULLSHIT.

So as everyone knows I rarely tolerate stupid and/or bullshit, I was just going to tell her to lay off when my sister sunked into her chair until she almost touched the ground. I guess that just kinda said it all! LOL.

Mum wasnt too happy but I could see the determination in her face that showed that this wasnt over. Poor sister. My mum is real keen on having a doctor in the family. Having failed with me, expectations are high on my sister with her (mum’s) stupid catchline ‘You don’t have to be smart to be a doctor. You just have to be kind, compassionate and hardworking’. Yup yup, a bunch of bull if you ask me.

Seriously, I love you mum but sometimes you just got to learn how to lay off and let your kids determine their own life. Parents these days. I blame it on stupid society norms where it supposedly brings honour, pride and status to a family if you have a doctor in a family. (Norm in Malaysia at least, not sure about elsewhere) Society as a whole here is so caught up in this whole ‘Must have doctor in family’ thing and so, I strongly think this is partly the reason why we have so many crappy and useless doctors here in Malaysia. It’s because people become doctors to please the family, fullfill parents dreams, because its prestigious or high in status or whatever other reason besides actually having the passion and calling to become a doctor. Ridiculous if you ask me.

So that’s it for now. I hope my Visa application and interview process goes smoothly tomorrow. Toodles!

Well, England drew with USA. No one to blame but the England players themselves. They dint play that badly but come on, USA??
Gosh.

Korea: They won, suprisingly. Or maybe not that supringly. They have nucleur weapons after all. My football crazy guy friends thought I was mad when I told them this. LOL. They had no idea that North Korea has weapons and wanted to wage war on South Korea. I bet if Korea wasnt in the world cup then they won’t know it even existed.

Finally, I must say that I’m rather glad that Mexico and South Africe drew. I was having a hard time trying to figure out which side to support. I mean, the Mexican players were super super cute. But I had a soft spot for the African players as well. So it’s a win-win situation. I just wish there were more drama on the pitch. Like maybe, I dont know.. something that would make everyone go ahhhh. Like Zidane’s comments during the previous world cup.

I’m just waiting to see who is this years dark horse gonna be. It was Czech Republic last time round. So guess I will just have to wait and see.

I’m not a football crazy fan and especially not the biggest World Cup fan but since everyone is so hyped up about it, I convinced myself that I will try and be a tiny bit hyped up as well. I know nuts about football though.

Here is to another 30 days of football mayhem!

Oh sure, we are surrounded by male testerone all the time but they are either: a) taken b) players c) ’Not worth getting your hopes high on this guy’ material d) gay e)act more female than we do

Basically, we were moaning about the lack of quality men available. Instead, we seem to be surrounded by jerks (Talking about the available one’s near us). We have a workmate, lets called him Gun, who is rather good looking (according to me, Joyee thinks he is not) but who is sooo childish and immature. And, mind you, he is 24. He says the most ridiculous things ever, he doesn’t participate in any intellectual conversations we have sometimes and he eats with his legs wide open.

Plus, he is in love with another collegue of ours who is, by the way, pretty and in a very serious relationship. They just met each other (He’s new) and he follows her around like a puppy. Once, I almost wanted to snap my fingers and yell, ‘Go Gun, go, run doggy! Jacin’s out the door!’  when I Jacin left the department and he went looking for her. Pathetic. Crushes are fine but come on, he doesn’t have the excuse of being a teenager anymore to act silly like this. Plus, she has a BOYFRIEND!

So, yes, Joyee and I have every reason in the world to lament. We both seem to have suitors who fall into at least one of the categories I mentioned above and as Joyee put it, they are all lame.

So, I’m going to backtrack abit and start talking about the majority of boys in my hometown. They mostly suck as boyfriend material. Sure, most of them are nice to hang out with, nice to joke around but seriously, even though these are my friends I’m talking about, I’d tell any girl who comes close to run far far away if they are looking for a lasting relationship.

They are immature, selfish, players, stupid, ignorant and quite honestly, just not that good looking.

To be fair, there are exceptions. I know quite a few who are genuinely nice guys and who have long-term girlfriends. But they are rare. And most of these ‘nice’ guys, either become a jerk because of their friends or if the go through a bad break up.

So see? I’m left again with the saddening conclusion that there are no guys worth falling for.

(I had my share of teenage relationships and bitter heartbreaks already so I guess I am not looking for something temporary but, perhaps something most lasting. I know better now than to fall for that cute guy on the bus who strings you along for the fun of it or the guy who fits your perfect boyfriend material mental list but is a Mummy’s boy lacking balls – sorry-) Being 18 and thinking like that is not really a good thing in this time of civilization)

Most of my friends seem to find getting into relationships easy. They are rarely single and if they are, they are still attacked in all directions by potentional suitors. Unfortunately, I do know some girls who are well, bitches to say the least. They have boyfriends (Note the s). They flirt around. And even if they are the faithful type, then its the bad faithfulness. The one where they are willing to give everything to their boyfriends.

What is the world coming to?

I am honestly not picky when it comes to guys! Seriously.

All I want is a generally nice guy who treats his girl right and who can hold stimulating conversations really well. Is that so hard to ask for??

(Well, it won’t hurt if he looks cute and has a nice body. Plus, I have a thing for guys with nice eyes and smiles.)

Most guys tell me that they fulfill all the ‘qualities’ I’m looking for. However, what they don’t realize is that most girls have their own ‘Beware’ list. The Beware list is basically qualities that girls see in guys which turns them off immediately. Each one varies with different girls and the reasons of why  these qualities are on the list varies as well.

For me, I have a few major turn-offs that are an absolute no no but there are a few things I am willing to look past if he has other better, dominating qualities.

I think my problem lies with the fact that at times, I’m not the average girl next door. I’m intelligent. I love Literature classics. I say intelligently and intellectually confusing things at times which sometimes even I get confused when I try to explain it (I understand it perfectly in my head). I’m a little different at times too. It’s hard to explain how different I am but I just am. I’m mature from my age (I act like a grown up while guys my age act as if they are 15 / 16 years old. DAMN IT! haha)

Finding a guy who not only accepts me for who I am but actually understand me is the trouble here. I know there are guys who get girls like me out there but none seem to be within my er, horizon, field of vision, oh you get my point!

How utterly depressing.

Actually not really! While it certainly is nice to have girlfriends to lament about this issue from time to time, we are not in any dire desperate need to find an other half. Instead, we will blindly hope and wait for that day when we actually find that soul mate of ours who will sweep us off our feets. The rest of civilization can literally become extinct for all we care.

Yeap, I know, we are idiotically hopeless romantics! (Blame the classic Lit books I read!)

In the mean time, I think I will just continue daydreaming about my non-existant dream guy.

He is super cute with a killer bod and he fights off bad guys all the tiem while remaining a super, sweet sensitive, caring guy he really is. He is super intelligent and knows absolutely everything from ancient history to the psychology of human beings.  He gives the perfect hugs and is the perfect listener plus he is……

Yeah right Kate!  

**back to reality now**

Search words                                                           First used
“katherine heigl IN BRA IN KILLERS”  June 8, 8:10 pm
only for aunty lover                                           June 8, 1:10 pm

What on earth were these two people searching for beats me but I actually find it kind of funny. I’m not sure what aunty lover is nor do I want to find out but well, yeah, funny.

I had one heck of a train experience yesterday. I had to take the train home after work yesterday and a colleague sent me to the Mid Valley train station. It was either that or I take a bus from One Utama to K.J station and then take a train to bangsar then backtrack to Salak Selatan then only reach my hometown.

So well, I reached MidV at 6.20pm, rushed to the train station, bought a ticket cause I dint bring my Touch N Go card and waited. And waited and waited and waited. There supposed to be a train every 15 minutes but I had waited for an hour and NO train came by. Then there was an announcement which no one could really hear because the PA system sucks big time. I managed to understand that the train is delayed at KL station or something. By that time, more and more people were piling in on the station. So I continued waiting. At 7.40, a train came. JOY!

But the horror! The train was packed! Even though it was so packed, people stil pushed their way into the already full train. It was like watching chaos or rather, mayhem. People were screaming because they were being pushed and pulled in all directions. People coming out of the train could not even come out! Watching from a slight distance, I tried telling a few people in front of me ‘Hey, let them come out of the train first la’ but what I got in response was a glare then they proceeded to push somemore.

I stayed at the back cause obviously, there was no way I could get into that train, no matter how much I tried. So instead of making a fool out of myself by acting barbaric, I decided I’ll wait for the next train.

The next train came half an hour later. I had been standing for two whole hours by then. This time, it was even MORE packed than before and when the doors opened, people actually fell out of the train because it was that packed. So that train went.

I only boarded the train at 8.30pm. On a normal day (train-less) I would have eaten my dinner and had my bath by then. The train was crowded and I had a little boy clinging on to me as he had no where else to hold. Kinda sweet actually.

Unfortunately, I had this annoying guy behind me who kept knocking into me. Consistently. I couldnt even turn around to tell him to knock it out! (Pun indeed) To make matters worst, being short, I had giants all around me ( I was in the females only coach and I was completely surrounded by MEN) and that being said, I had absolutely no air supply.

I was already down with a flu and that train ride made it worst. I just prayed and prayed that I would not faint cause I have a fainting record (I fell off my bike once and fainted on the main road, thank God no car ran me over. Then there was the time in St Johns ICC where Harvinth had to carry me. There was also the time I fainted during Good Friday mass and I woke up only to find some sort of oil shoved up my nostrils, courtesy of an elderly lady behind me. Embarrasing much.)

I dint, Thank God. I reached my station at 9 plus and although my house was a ten minute walk away, I could not walk home because it was pitch dark and the bridge I had to cross did not have lights plus it was a lonely area.

So walked to town, gulped down some fried rice then walked to the Catholic Centre where my mum gave bible classes. I reached home at 10pm.

[NEVER EVER TAKE THE KTM IN MALAYSIA EVER!! It's horrible and the there are certain people on it who are truly barbaric and the service is horrible and ineffecient. Sorry KTM but you suck big time.]

I was exhausted, sick and my body ached more than ever (Yes yes, I AM counting my sorrows right now). Had a bath and did my usual pottering around the house.

Flu was bad but hoped that it would be better this morning. I woke up alright but the moment I sat in the car, it started to flow.

So now, I’m at the office with a snuffed frozen nose with my body achingly frozen with a headache and cough. I supposed to be in BED!!!

I need sleep. I’m tired, dizzy and miserable (cause of the flu). I look quite a sight I bet. Haih.

Ok enought with my self-pitying post! I shall try my very best to perk myself with what I dont know but I’ll find something.

**Dont think about sleeping. Dont think about sleeping. Dont think about sleeping. Dont think about sleeping**

zzzzz. Nah, I wish. Still awake unfortunately. No bed in sight. Toodles.

Quite honestly, I went for the movie with my parents and sister, not knowing what the movie was about. However, I like Katherine Heigl and I was curious on how the usually fun-loving immature goofy Ashton was going to be.

I must say, I quite pleasantly suprised. Plot-vise, there was nothing spectacular and it was quite predictable (Though there were a few things I did not expect).

A woman goes on vacation, mets a handsome man, falls in love and gets married. Of course, she (Jen) does not know that her now-husband (Spencer) was once a spy who killed people. Yada yada yada.

The movie was hilarious. I really LOL.

Spencer is totally crush worthy and he has a body that can make any girl drool (My sis and I were close to doing so but then I kept thinking of his funny pictures he posted on Twitter and that was such a turn off). I never thought I’d say this but Ashton is really cute..

I actually wrote quite a bit more but I deleted it off as for some reason, my writing today is a bit off. Must be due to the fact that my fingers are frozen right now. Air-cond at work is set at ‘Freeze employees’ level today.

So anyways, I would recommend Killers to anyone looking for a non-thinking, funny, non-realistic, feel good movie. Girls can go gaga over Ashton Kutcher and his cuteness and hot bod while the guys can basically drool over Katherine Heigl and her with bra only scenes. So it’s a win-win movie and thinking about it, this movie would be great for a date.

There is killings that will grab the guys interest and the killings are done in a non graphic and funny way that girls will actually laugh at them.  Plus, there was real chemistry between the actors and they played their roles to perfection. So yeah. Watch it.

Plus, you’d never look at your neighbours the same way again after you watched this movie.

That’s it!

The petrol attendants refused to give it to him. Which, of course, lead to the death of that woman. Yes, she B U R N T to death, slowly, painfully.

The image is pretty horrible if you try to think about it and my heart still aches as I think about what kind of torture the woman went through during the last minutes of her life.

No details were provided on the cause of the accident so right now, no blame can be pinned on any of the drivers just yet.

However, we do have a hero amongst us. That heroic man who stopped to try and help the woman, that man who went to the petrol station to beg for help. That same man who rushed back to the accident scene only to find the whole car burning with the woman still inside, screaming for help. He was there until she stopped screaming.

Frustration boiled through me as I read that article. I mean, why on earth did those petrol attendants refuse to lend the man the fire estinguishers?? The man showed them his identification card, explained the situation and when they still refused to lend him the f.e (fire estinguisher), he even offered to buy it off them. AND THEY STILL SAID NO!!

So who is ultimately to blame for that woman’s death?? The petrol attendants? I don’t know but what I do know is that I am darned pissed off at them and they frankly need a tight female slap (I say female slap for two reasons: One, we won’t break their jaw and two, it would hurt their ego more).

Their boss even went as far as to defend them and said that they were weary as robberies were common at that time and that they could not see the accident? (The stupid boss said they were concerned but heck, if they really were concerned about the situation, they would have at least done something about it! This shows just how stupid some people can get. BP boss, get a publist, all you’re doing is shooting yourself in your head by making ridiculous statements.)

What bollocks. If that man was a robber, he wouldn’t have showed his identity card nor would he have offered to buy the fire estinguisher off them. Plus, common regard towards humanity should have ensured that those attendants felt somesort of inclination to help if the case was true. If they were unsure, they should have, at least called the fire brigade instead of telling the man to call them himself.

Idiots idiots idiots! How little regard they had to that womans life? What if it was one of their loved one’s in that car instead? What if they were trying to save someone and came across such inconsiderate, unmoving human specimens who refused to help.

For the sake of innocent one’s, I really hope that these stupid petrol attendants never be in this kind of situation cause although it would serve them bloody right, that high lesson is not worth to be learned at the expense of others. See, even I, a bloody pissed of girl, has some sort of regard to the human life.

I wish I could give the petrol attendants the benefit of doubt that they really thought that the man was a robber but the fact that it caused a woman her life is just too much.

I just hope that the deseased is in a happier, pain-free place right now. Rest in peace, love, I sure wished that this unfortunate incident did not occur.

I had orientation yesterday (Monday) and my dad thought it was pretty weird that they are giving my an induction like one month after I started working. There were 40 new interns this month. Majority Chinese. It’s no suprise cause even in school, it is the Chinese who usually dominate and are excellent at subjects like Maths and Accounts, in fact, anything regarding numbers and counting. It was a little uncomfortable though since everyone was yakkering away around me in Chinese and I had no idea what they were saying.

Thank goodness Joyee and Mandy, who I haven’t seen in weeks were there. The induction as a whole was alright I guess. We played a game where we had to stick a piece of paper on our backs and had to get people to write their first impression of us on it. The results I got was kinda funny. Here is the list:

• Friendly
• sweet
• bubbly
• humble (Now don’t ask me how they figured that out! I sure as heck did not bow down to anyone.)
• Chirpy (I wonder if I remind that person of Tweety Bird. or a chipmunk)
• Happy go lucky (Maybe because I’m short)
• Cheerful
• Nice
• Pretty
• Smart looking (I really wanted to tell that person that not only do I look smart but I AM smart as well. HAHA)
• Charming (Should I be worried? I supposed to be a damsel princess not a prince charming)
• Proffessional

Absolutely hilarious! Well at least I seemed to have given out positive first impressions. Some people got fat or too tall or noisy and one even got laughs like Daisy Duck. Personally, I had no idea Daisy Duck even laughed. =_=

I had lunch with three other new girls as well. A girl studying in America, Sue Ann, a Hong Kong girl, Natalie and a local student, Ling Yok. They were really nice and there were no awkward silences. I guess that’s the difference when you get an education abroad. Later on when we had to stand up and speak as part of the activity, you could immediately distinguish between local students and students who studied abroad.

There was a massive traffic jam last evening and I only reached home at 8pm! I was sooo exhausted but I had to drag my butt to the shower, bath, go out for dinner then I had to determine my flight dates then I had to go to my grandfathers house cause my aunt was helping me fill up my online visa application. I went to bed really late and spent hours tossing and turning. Just greatt..

My dad was trying to break open a safe box cause my grandfather lost the key to it. It was so funny. He was trying to bang it. Then he tried to pry it open. He tried hitting it at random places. He then got really excited and said ‘Well we have no choice now, looks like we have to try explosives’ LOL. I thought he wanted to try a Chemistry experiment but he was like ‘Firecrackers’. My aunt gave him the look that said ‘Shut up before you say anything more ridiculous’ which obviously did not work since my dad did not think it was ridiculous! HAHAHA! ADULTS!

There is a new intern in my department as well. She’s alright I guess. My boss gave me the task of training her and all. I guess I will let her tag along with Joyee and me when we go for lunch. (Our boss took us out for lunch today. We went to Fish & Co. and I have a fish and chips with cheese in the fish. Jelak (felt sick of it) after awhile but it wasn’t half bad) Oh well. She is rather nice but I’m not really sure how to communicate with her as she doesn’t speak much English. I’ve known her for less than 24 hours and we already had several miscommunications. Here is a funny one:

Her: *mumbles something which I heard as ‘Do you watch Glee?*

Me: *excited* Glee? Yes! I love Glee! I watch it all the time. It’s awesome. Do you watch it? *continues blabbing away for a minute or two*

Her: Huh? Watch…?

Me: Yeah Glee…

Her: *looks at me blankly and strangely*

Me : *smile faltering* Err, what did you say earlier?

Her: I said, have you seen Lily?

I was really like ahhh.. She must have thought I was mad. Hahah. Plus I was dissapointed that she din’t watch Glee (She never heard of it) cause now I can’t talk to anyone at work about Glee. Dang.

I printed all my visa things earlier and I just have a few more forms to fill plus I have to get my documents ready. I already made an appointment and all. So much of work! Plus I have to miss Glee tonight again cause I have these Visa things to do. I am too busy for my own good!

I better get back to work now. It’s a new month so hello July, good riddance May!

Updated: I just had to speak Malay on the phone just now to a client and boy was my Malay rusty! In fact, my boss and my other collegues were laughing their heads off at me. Can’t blame me, I haven’t spoken Malay at all for the last 6 months. I can understand it perfectly but while I was one fluent Malay speaker in school, I’ve now been reduced to a cat yippering  away in a rat’s language. And I haven’t even  gone to UK yet!!

 When was your first date and with who?

or

Do you prefer raw fish or cooked fish? If cooked, what style?

I mean seriously, I wonder if they use half the information I give there. Puff and bother. I heard the interview questions are asked in much more detail. Come on, does it really matter if my favorite colour is red and I love fast cars? Does it make an ounce of a difference if my father is Indian and my mother Eurasian? I’m still me right?

Yes, recently I’ve had to fill in tonnes of forms for numerous reasons and some questions just leave me baffled. Here are a few questions that made me write this blog post.

Form A

1. Name of spouse:

2. Relationship with person named above  (Although I wrote NA in question 1, I felt like writing ‘my pet’ for this question. My uncle said he would answer question 4 with ‘a master and slave relationship’. LOL

3. How long have you been married for?

4. How long have you known your partner? (IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS IF I KNEW HIM/HER SINCE I WAS IN KINDERGARDEN OR MET HIM/HER TWO YEARS AGO)

Form B

1. Name:

2. Nickname: (Was I supposed to write ’side parking’ and ‘madam puddyfoots’, nicknames my cousins gave me?)

Form C

Weight:

Height:

Dietary Supplements: (I almost wrote Viaggra here)

Hours of sleep each night: (If my mom dint stop me, I would have wrote 2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12 hours, varies each day which is the truth.)

Form D

Marital status: ….. (gave a few options)

If widowed, how long ago?

Talk about insensitive. I personally never came across this question before but an aunt did.

Yeap, these are a few questions that just made me wonder if all the questions they ask are really relevant. If you ask me, some are just plain redundant.

What happen to only asking questions that are relevant or connected to what the form is being filled for? If it was a health or medical form, then questions as asked in form C would have been just fine but in this case, it was definately nothing medical related. In simpler words, some of these people are just plain busybodies who waste applicants time with redundant questions.

I remember when I went for an interview once, the interviewer asked me questions like ‘So you drive, well do you prefer to drive in the slow or fast lane?’ I guffawed at him and he laughed. Thank goodness he din’t really expect me to answer that question but that being the case, why on earth did he ask it in the first place?

Another time, when I was going for my practical piano exam and the lady examiner asked me “What colour is your piano at home?” I said ‘Er well, black’ and suprise surprise, she wrote it down and said ‘That’s wonderful’ ! I was wondering if it made a difference if I practiced on a black or brown piano and was brown piano’s not as good as black one’s. (Well, I was only 14 at that time)

A most recent weird question I was asked was in work recently where a person asked me ‘Why does your name sound like a chinese name but you look like an Indian?‘

She was curious, I get it but come on, what a question to ask someone you have never talked to in your life before. I said, my name is an English name and she asked me ‘But why, you not Indian meh?’

I told her ‘Well, your name is Susan but your a chinese.’

Then she looked at me as if I was the idiot. Her next question was ‘So you Indian or Christian?’

=_= I smiled, said both and excused myself before I wasted some sort of sarcastic remark on her, which she wouldnt have been able to understand. The people that exist out there! Some of them can really make my bulu naik (hair stand).

Coming to think of it, if I dont find it so irritating at times, it actually would be pretty funny. I’m actually laughing now, remembering more and more instances where I was asked stupid questions and the times where I actually answered stupidly back. The look on their faces was priceless.

Here’s one.

Friend A: Kate, how come your mother is so fair and white?

Me: Cause she’s Eurasian…

Friend A: Ooo what’s that?

Me: Simply put, she has ‘orang putih’ (means Causasian) blood in her?

Friend A: You mean she is American?

Me: =_= (Realized she was serious and wasnt purposely saying dumb things) Yeah and since all Americans are related, she is related to Angelina Jolie. *smiles*

Netherless to say, the girl I was talking to looked both shocked and suspicious but she nodded anyway before continuing

Friend A: How come you don’t have the same colour as her?

Me: My dad is Indian.

Friend A: Oh *She looked suprised* Mixed marriage ah?

Me: (Well, what do ya think??) Yeah, they had to get married cause my dad wanted an Angelina Jolie look alike.

Friend A: Your dad is Brad Pitt?

Unfortunately, people like Friend A here exist. I dint mean to string her along that easily but she was such an easy target. The master of all of this however, is Harvinth, a friend of mine. The crap he feeds people sometimes is just hilarious and all those people he tricked, ate every single word he said. Especially during ICC (camp). Good times.

Well, time to continue my online application. I suppose hoping that no ridiculas questions are asked anymore would be too much to ask for. Dang..

I woke up feeling happy.

I woke up with the conscious decision that I’m going to be happy and beautiful today.

 And guess what? It worked.

Being a generally grumpy morning person, my highlight of the day is definitely not in the morning. In fact, it is a chore to even smile at 6 in the morning. It’s pure torture.

But ever since I started putting these positive thoughts in my mind, simply hard tasks like waking up bright and happy has actually begun to be possible.

It definitely isn’t easy though. The only difference is, I made the CHOICE to be positive. It’s a constant decision that has to be made every single second.

I found this good example.: A miner’s cap has a light on top of it which can only be directed in one direction. The miner has to decide where he would like to focus; the pile of dirt or the pile of gold in the mine. He can’t look at both simultaneously. He can look to and fro from the dirt an the gold but he will only end up confused.

So let’s say your the miner, which would you choose to focus on? The gold or the dirt?

Most will say ‘ Duh, the gold of course’ but in life, how many of us actually focuses on the gold? Instead most of us spend our time complaining and being generally not very happy. So despite our ‘Duh, the gold of course’ answer, we are actually most of the time focusing on the pile of dirt in our lives.

Positive focusing isn’t living a delusion that everything is bright and peachy all the time. Of course there are negative and unpleasant thing that we will encounter everyday. By having positive focusing however, we are making the conscious effort to acknowledge that there are bad things out there but at the same time CHOOSING to focus on the pleasantries in life.

Not to sound preachy but hey, no harm in giving it a try. It’s cost free and doesn’t even take up much time and the person who will benefit from it is only yourself!

We make choices everyday so, let’s all now make the choice to be happier beings and things won’t seem so hard anymore. It lies in your hands. Focus on everything pleasant for one day, just one day and you will get my point. So give it a try.

So anyways, I believed that is was time to start taking control of my life and stop letting my life and it’s circumstances take control of me.

And well, being happy and positive, generally makes you more confident (Well it did to me) and as the saying goes, confidence is sexayy!

I wore jeans with no make up today but walked with my head held high, quite honestly not that bothered with my surroundings and realized I got more stares from strangers. Being a typical teenage girl, I immediately checked my reflection to make sure nothing was out of order and nothing was. I guess I just potrayed a happy, confident girl and it was pleasant on the eyes.

I mean, personally, I would prefer to look at a happy person than a person with no expression or a sad, unhappy expression.

It’s funny how we take things like being happy for granted but thing is, it really does make a difference!

So, here is to remaining confident, beautiful and happy for a long long time.

It started with breakfast which all came out by the way it came in. The sick feeling stayed until it fully developed into a deadly, annoying pesky flu.

To top that, I had to help clean the office storeroom today. Yes, all that dust and old boxes did nothing to help my flu.

I had to smile, pretend to be happy and do everything as if everything was perfectly normal when all I wanted to do was to take a handkerchief, wear my pajamas and snuggle into my bed with my booster. I wanted to SLEEP!

For a long time, flu has always been my deadliest eneny. In Malaysia, battling a flu is like a normal everyday routine. You go to work/school as usual, you do everything as how you normally would do when you are prefectly healthy. You dont get to rest!

Which is fine really but when I get the flu, I get it bad. (I have sinus which makes it worst) My face swells up and gets this ghastly ’sick’ pale colour, my eyes become red and watery and my nose is blocked AND it drips like a tap. How’s that for a graphic description of how my flu is? LOL.

Yeap, I just cancelled what I wrote above. That was just me being frustrated, tired and grumpy because of my blocked nose, itchy throat and aching body. Which is no excuse really. But I can proudly say that I was still super nice (It was an effort seeing as some people can just be sooo clueless) to everyone that came into my path. Well I tried at least.

On a normal day, I am already allergic to stupidness.

Being sick however, makes me hyeprallergic to stupidness. I try really hard but sometimes, you just come across people who are plain stupid (No offence but really). I know someone, X who is really nice but unfortunately is a bit nutty and out of this world at times. I mean, X has a memory span of a goldfish and has a knack of making silly requests all the time. She gets angry over small things and laughs when things are bad (especially if it’s her fault). She can be pretty irritating and she can annoy the hell out of anyone. Being around her sometimes is a chore. It’s worst when your sick and her kind advice? ‘Do some labour, you will feel better then’. It’s not even funny. I just brushed it off as stupidness and left it as that. I really have to keep my patience and will not let her lack of wisdom, intelligence, wit etc. get to me. Instead I will try my darn hardest to see her as the kind (but she REALLY is irritating!) soul she is. Blah! Yeah, I know I’m kinda sensitive but it’s only because I’m sick and not in bed.

I just ate a whole packet of chips more and it tasted real good but I’m feeling really guilty. I won’t be able to fit into my new jeans if I’m not careful. I’ve been eating as if all my food dissappears once I swallow it.

Anyways, I’m actually starting to feel happy right now. It’s Thursday and tomorrow is a public holiday and it’s gonna be a long, work free weekend. I do have a church talk to attent tomorrow though and it starts at 8 am. If that ain’t suicidal then I don’t know what is. (Actually I do.Haha)

A few more days and May will be gone, at least until 2011 which I don’t mind seeing that I will be in UK by then. (Which reminds me, I have to start applying for my Visa) Cant wait cant wait cant wait!

I feel like dancing in joy right now. Random moment.

You know how everyone has a secret or something that they don’t want others to know? Well I never really had one but now I do! Random random.

Here is another random thing: Lee won American Idol and while he is super cute, I must say even the grand finale of AI was bland and dull. The finalist were good singers no doubt but I think the highlight of the event was Simon and his departure. AI needs to develop that spark it first had that drew millions of people. Now it’s like a dying fire and if they are not careful, the fire will fully go out.

Bla bla bla. I’ve run out of things to say (unsual) but well, I have appoximately 5 hours to go till I can settle down for a good night’s rest.

zzzzz…

WHY?

For the simple reason that he knows how to play his cards darn well.

Let’s face it, how many people in Malaysia can write their own honest opinions and get thrown in ISA as it was a threat to national security (Bollocks) and gets charged in court but before that can happen, he leaves the country (The authorities were in the dark, obviously) and now the Malaysian government can’t touch him. He then proceeds to taunt (Yes, no matter how much I do like this man, the fact remains that he was just putting salt in the wound of the Malaysian authorities that he is untouchable.) our government that that they can’t touch him. And let’s be completely honest here, even IF the Malaysian Gov could bring him to trial in UK, they (Gov) will quite certainly lose.

Yes, so the person having the final laugh here is indeed Raja Petra himself.

I’ve done some research on him and I do admit he has a colourful past. He was actively involved in politics, he supported the Government then all a sudden, he doesn’t and supposedly makes nonsensical comments. Confusing much? Yes, even I am confused.

All I know is that the grounds on which they detained him under ISA was pure crap. I mean, what happen to freedom of speech and freedom to express opinions? I’m not claiming that what he said is neccesarily correct but hey, it’s jsut his OPINION. Then the concerned parties reacts so strongly that it leaves one wondering suspisiously, what the real deal is. I remember my mum always use to tell me that only guilty people will defend themselves to the point that they go overboard and only guitly people will use whatever defense they have in their power (abuse of power) to get things done their way.

So what really happened? No one has a clue and even if someone did, well, they certainly did not let me in on the goss.(gossip)

So, basically since I cannot ask Raja Petra exactly what happened, I’m just going to leave the colourful and perhaps, gory (Well, if ISA was involved, details just HAS to be gory. ) details to rest, without me knowing. Wait, that sentence barely made sense but yes, you get my point.

Now what I do find funny is how he managed to leave the country without anyone knowing. That just shows how the Malaysian authorities are. He is smart but he ain’t no criminal mastermind to escape the country with a false document in speeding boats, James Bond style. Hmm, actually that is possible. Lol. (Doesn’t every border in Malaysia supposed to have an immigration??)

So right now, I can deduce two things.

1) R.P is smarter than the concerned parties (He escaped right under their noses. They din’t even realize he was gone till, well, he was far gone) 

2) Malaysia does not look very good with all this press (Not only R.P. I mean, Runaway blogger, sodomy case, a bunch of high profile unsolved murders, political drama and certain politicians making a fool out of themselves.)

Have some dignity! The whole world is looking, pointing and laughing. Have you read the blogs out there bombarding Malaysia? I don’t blame them. But  not all Malaysians are idiots and most of us live quite normal, no-drama lives. Really.

Back to the R.P. drama, well I just find it amusing that he escaped and is living comfortably in the UK. And well, to whoever who has ever said Malaysia is boring, well here is your proof that we are indeed a nation with as much drama as a the Desperate Housewives TV show.

At the end of the day, well, R.P is still untouchable for now and I find that really funny for some reason. I just hope this verbal ping pong game either stops completely or gets more interesting so that I can LOL all the more. Cheers.

I still don’t fully understand how Twitter operates. I mean, I understand all the post a Tweet things but I still don’t get why when my friend reply me, it sometimes doesn’t appear on my page. Hmm.

And this blog was created for me by Suresh. The only thing I did for this blog was change the team, the links, upload pictures and write my thoughts. I have not really personalized it and that is mainly because of 2 reasons. 1- I have not found time to do it yet and 2- Even if I did find time, I wouldn’t know how to do it. Just great..

First, I want to get that blog hits counter up here. I tried doing it thrice, from different websites and for some reason, it just din’t work up (Note: This blog aint the same as blogger.com)

Secondly, I’m still muling how to personalize this blog. I’ve seen loads of examples but I still don’t know how I want to do mine. I mean, I blog regularly so it only fits if I kinda make this place really really me.Make it like my web bedroom (Not so great analogy but still..)

Oh well, guess I just have to wait till that Bristolhead (No offence to Bristolians, I’m just teasing this particular cousin of mine) finishes his exam then hopefully he will reply emails and answer calls! (Well I dint call him but I just know he won’t pick up. )

Work today was pretty unexciting. Met with a client (I was booking something from him which technically makes ME the client) and I had to try to stifle my giggles throughout the meeting because his hair was sticking out from all directions plus he was under the impression that I was some sort of big person from the company. I said I’m an intern and guess what? He just looked impressed. Here is a snippet of our conversation.

Him: I understand your company very big (Yes he has atrocious English) but if you can recommend my xxxx to other departments.

Me: Well yes of course, I’ll leave your card with HR and if this event goes smoothly, I’d give you a good recommendation for other events.

Him: Yeah lor, can like that. Cause you big person ma. Will help me.

Me: *smiles politely* I’m just an intern. I’m helping my boss out.

Him: *looks impressed when I say intern* Wah.. Good good.

Me: *errr??* (I was going to like end the meeting but…)

Him: It is so kind of you.

Me: Sorry??

Him: You help your boss. Plus your company so big.

Me: *lost* (I dint get what was his point) It’s my job, sir.

Him: I’m so lucky to met you. We usually don’t get big client (He meant big company’s) and your building so nice.

Me: Thank the architects..

Then guess what?? He din’t get it! He looked at me blankly. Gosh. He was really nice though.

Had to prepare another table for the other intern who is coming in next week and I’m supposed to teach her all of my jobs. I just thought of something though, if she does all that I usually do, then what on earth am I going to do??

LOL.

My dad is fetching me from work today. Lucky me. My extended family noted how lucky I was to have either an uncle or an aunty or my parents fetch me from work and how they, when they were younger, had to take public transport and yada yada yada.

My response to them: Times have changed *grins* (Can finally use it against them) I thought a lot of other things as well (Pure genius really) but I have to end this post now.

So yes, June faster come and go by PLEASE! When I need time to fly by, it doesn’t! Sheesh.

Till tomorrow.

Even models have their low self esteem days where their hair is either as dull as headmistresses speeches or as fluffy as a shaggy dog’s fur. Or it could be the day that their skin decides to it want’s to grow red ‘flowers’. The list of possibilities is endless.

So the cut the story short, every girl is guilty or will be guilty of googling tips on how to look good or how to have this hairstyle or how to apply makeup or yada yada yada.

So, I’ve decided that what the heck, I’m going to introduce my very own personalized beauty tips. It’s honest, it’s real and it doesnt involve lots of money or products or much effort (Being a lazy bum when it comes to self care like I am) plus it almost always works.(Worked perfectly for me)

So here goes.

Hair

I’m rather lucky cause I’ve got a nice head of hair if I may say so myself. However, much to my chagrin a few months ago, my hair was dropping as fast as Tiger Woods changed sleeping partners. I mean, I’m only 18! I couldn’t be going bald now couldn’t I? Well, an aunt advised me to take zinc tablets and guess what? It worked.My hair is thick again. (I think I’m missing the whole idea of giving beauty tips here. Let me try again.)

Hair (2nd try)

1) Wash once in two days and DONT forget to use a conditioner!

2) Dont use overly strong shampoo’s. It will only dry your hair out and next thing you know, you’d be having a Sahara desert on top of your head.

3)Dont brush your hair if you have curly hair. Use a comb instead. Remember Princess Diaries? Yeah, you don’t want a brush to get tangled in your hair.

4)Try as much as you can, to NOT use hairsprays or gels every other day. If you want the bald look by the time you hit 40, then by all means go ahead.

5)Messy is sexy. However there is a fine border between messy and downright gorilla like. Dont overbrush but make sure you don’t look like you’ve just been attacked by an ape. How? Well, I have no idea.

There. That’s more like it. Some sounds a little silly but you’d be suprised at how many people have broke number 1 to 5. So yeah.

Face

1) Acne? Well wash your face twice a day with a good cleanser. If your a paranoid nut like me who thinks using too much of chemical based products will ruin your face in the long run, invest in a good herbal cleanser. Remember to wash your face just before you sleep. Oil accumulates on your face at night. That’s why.

2) Pimples not going away for good even after cleansing? Take Vitamin C daily. For some reason, it work’s like magic. Plus you get an energy booster. No downsides when taking Vit C!

3) Dont overpowder your face. Two things: First, ya’ll end up looking like Michael Jackson (May his soul RIP. Awesome singer but seriously? His face? *shudders*) and secondly, it’ll make you have more pimples!

4) Drink lots and lots of water. It clears your skin plus it clears your insides as well. So you will end up not only looking but feeling much better. I drink about2.4 litres of water daily and it makes a big difference.

Body

1) Exercise!! Even if you are inconsistent like me, try dancing while you are brushing your teeth. Loads of fun. The goofier the better. Just dont get toothpaste on yourself or the floor. *Yucks*

2) Eat chocolate’s (Well you shouldn’t but what the heck, I love it too much. )

……

Well.. This giving beauty tips idea sounded much better when it was in my head. I had loads to write about but it’s just too tedious. Plus would anyone really want to listen to a girl who doesnt drink any fizzy drinks but eats chocolate biscuits after every meal?

Well yeah, I kinda figured. LOL. To each his own. I sacrifice some thing and some things I indulge in. See? A compromise. I’m not skinny but I’m no where near fat as well. I’m normally healthy (and happy).

Since I’m on the topic of beauty, I shall give my two cents worth on dieting.

Just yesterday I met with my mum’s friend and her niece who coincidently is about the same  size as I am. And that prissy girl (I mean, seriously, I was with them for an hour and we never strayed from the topic of niece’s body) went on and on about how fat she was and how she was 47kg’s and how she wanted to be 43kg’s because her aunt was that size before. And that aunt was like ‘I had no choice! I was an air stewardess! I had to be skinny. So instead of eating, I smoked!’ Like WTH?

I felt like telling her to get her lazy ass off the chair and exercise and eat right if she is so concerned about her weight. Irritating. Then she dropped the bombshell: She is currently on hormone tablets. I thought nonsense like this only happened among  the rich and famous but clearly I was mistaken. Hormone tablets? Seriously? And she’s proud of it.

**speechless**

Girls like these need a big wake up call. It’s normal to be concerned about your appearance. It’s normal to want to be thin (Well, part normal). It’s normal to be insecure (when your growing up at least. That prissy girl was 23!)[ It's also relatively normal to have a day or two where you feel miserable and not good looking and you just want to pour your sorrows out. That's alright as long as it doesn't become a habit. If not it becomes plain annoying]. However, it ain’t normal nor is it right to starve yourself and take hormone tablets.

Plus if you really thought you were fat or ugly, you most certainly would NOT come out of the house dressing in tight fitting jeans and a sleeveless body hugging tshirt. So save the crap for somebody who would be dumb enough to fall for your drama.

If you feel not good about youself then quit complaining and start actually doing something about it! Exercise. Eat well. Change your lifestyle. Dont just sit and complain. Unfortunately, complaining only makes you less desirable and likeable and all that energy and time you spend complaining and moaning could actually be spent doing something worthwhile.

Frustrating frustrating frustrating! And my mum asks me why I wasnt talking much when I was with her. If I opened my mouth, well then, let’s just say she wasnt going to go home a very happy person.

Plus I was tired after work so I decided she was not important enough for me to go through the hassle of trying to get some sense into her. I can’t help me if she doesnt see anything wrong with herself.

I have this philosophy in life. Angelina Jolie might be considered the world’s most beautiful woman (NOT!!!) but guess what? She’s with Brad Pitt and the millions of guys out there can only dream about her and are left with normal Jane’s like the rest of us. So don’t worry girls, there is plenty of men out there and as long as you don’t look like a fish, you’d meet your mate.

I also hold dear this particular rule. Life is short and if we spend all our time worrying and deprieving ourself from the little joys of life, then life aint worth living. Enjoy and eat but with moderation of course. Have fun, hang loose, love more than once and just be happy. Food makes me happy! So, like I said before, compromise. Plus Google now has come up with more delicious yet healthy options when it comes to food. So the only thing stopping you from living the best life ever is yourself.

So here is to seeing beauty that lies deeper than the skin and loving and accepting one self for exactly what one looks like while enjoying life! (Except if you do look like a fish, then er, use make up. You might still be a fish but a pretty one at least. )

Ooopss. I probably shouldn’t have wrote that! Hahah.

Oh well, I just finish a breezy hour of LOL-ing while reading XiaXue’s (I think that’s her name) blog. She is blunt, crude, amazingly discriminating at times yet brutally honest about her own opinion’s. That’s the sole reason why reading her blog is such a pleasure (Gosh, that sounded so wrong!). I liked her story about how the evolution of short people began and I loved how she wrote honestly (meanly as well) about how she hates smelly people on buses. I mean, come on, we all have our irks do we? Just because we don’t publish them online and don’t make it a known fact, doesn’t make is innocent of the crime of having little things annoy the heck out of us. Gotta give that girl credit for having the guts to write what she feels without the fear of any repercussions.

I then stopped reading her blog because I realized that I dint blog today so I’d continue reading hers tomorrow. It’s much better than reading Business News or articles by people who only say/write the ‘right or correct thing’. I love controversial people (think Raja Petra and Marina Mahatir) who are usually the people who don’t write bullshit just for the sake of writing.(Come on! Love em or hate em, people still read their work and have some sort of reactions. They go by the motto no publicity is bad publicity, publicity is publicity. Okay, yes I just made that up but it can’t be far wrong. )

So anyways, what’s new?

Nothing much actually. The weekend flew by. I woke up Saturday morning and got a SOS phonecall from my grandmum saying that they (she works in a kindergarden) needed help as it was parent’s day. So rushed over there, helped out a bit, then walked to the train station. God was kind that day and it was cloudy and windy. I actually really enjoyed my walk. A rare feat when you live in a blazing oven of 35 degrees (sometimes hotter!)!

Met my mum at NorthPoint and had lunch. Then I treated myself to a pre-pay day aromatherapy massage. I can’t call it a pre-pay day treat cause my mum actually belanja (spend) me.

It felt amazingly good but I kinda had my hackles raised throughout the whole massage. I mean, I had to strip to almost (but not quite) nothing! An experience nevertheless.

Then I got my skinny jeans from Guess which I had been saving up for from the beginning of the year. Then I went home.

Went for mass in the evening as usual then after that, I headed over to Daya’s house. I dint realize just how much I missed her till I actually saw her. She is as skinny as ever, surviving on fluids and a sometimes meal a day. Her eating habits are horrible but she’s still sweet as anything. Kalai was there as well and as usual, even though we had not seen each other in like 2 months, we talked and talked and talked and…. Yeah. It’s like nothing had changed and that was comforting to know. Had a good meal, talked some more, went outside, talked some more.

LOL!

Sunday I spent doing absolutely nothing except sleep and eat and before I know it, its TODAY! Monday should seriously be called Doomsday.

Not only did I wake up sleepy (Nothing unusual there) but I had a splitting headache as well and that irritating headache did not leave me until 2 pm and that’s cause I couldnt take it anymore and I swallowed a panadol.

I had lunch with Joyee at The Chicken Rice shop and I must say, I frigging love rice! I’m a true Asian in that sense. “Apa pun takda, takpe, nasi perlu ada” as a person who I recall who said (Hmm.. That just MIGHT have been me!)

I have to teach Shaun Chemistry and Biology one of these nights. I think I can still remember my stuff especially Chemistry. He and Rach asked for Physics and I laughed. Please, I’d leave that to Physicsman aka Suresh aka the idiot who doesnt reply your mail aka the irritating specimen who….  I digress.

Oh well, I’m gonna miss em people once I die. (Eh??) Random. I’m not dying anytime soon.

Till tomorrow. Happy End of Monday! **Best time on a Monday**

So here is what happened yesterday: The course about care survival yesterday was really good. What I mean is, the speaker, Bala was really good. He was energetic, humourous and he really connected with the audience. He made jokes where everyone LOL-ed. The only thing that made me cringe throughout the seminar was the graphic pictures and videos on road mishaps and accidents. It was gruesome. Someone even had to ask him to turn the slide off because she felt sick and I saw many people closing their eyes or taking deep breaths. Yes, it was that bad. I think we all are aware that this kind of things do happen but to actually see it (Plus we knew it was no movie and it wasn’t some kind of stunt) shattered our illusion that we were safe while driving. I personally feel that while what Bala said was totally true, it can’t be denied that he was talking about worst case scenarios. It is better to be safe than sorry but quite honestly, how many of us are going to be in a car that catches fire or plunges into a drain.. Errr.. I see his point now! LOL. I sure hope nothing like this happens to be but at least I will be a little more prepared now in terms of knowledge although I lack the skill (Come on, I’ve never cut through a seat belt or broke a car window before!) Whoever came up with the statement that mothers know best is absolutely right in this context: My mom always tell us to say a little prayer before we drive and also to ask our guardian angels to protect us. I usually just nod and say ‘Yeah maa.. I know i know..’ but truth be told, I do it every single time. I don’t want to take the risk. It’s not worth it.

Did I mention that I love to drive fast? Hahah. I usually don’t cause my siblings are in the car but I love too all the same. My little dirty secret. Shh.

After the seminar, I met up with Mum at IU and we went shopping. Got a whole new batch of bra’s and it’s totally awesome. Xixili is totally awesome! There were so many different designs and colours and I was in undergarment heaven! I have to literally glue my fingers together now to stop myself from describing each one I bought. LOL.

We went to Benefit San Fransisco then and I got my tinted moistourizer. Awesome. Mum got some water based blusher thing which looks great on both her and me. Totally natural and light. A girls best friend.

We went to the Guess store there to try on my super skinny jeans. I tried a size 27 but it was a little too big. So the lady made me try on a size 24 instead and boy, I really had to push my hips into it. It fit really snugly and I COULD breathe in it but barely. If I put on just a little bit of weight, I won’t be able to fit in it. The lady kept insisting that the whole idea of super skinny jeans is for it to be tight. I knew that (Duh) but I wanted to be really comfortable in them and I din’t want to look as if I was suffocating so I decided to go with the size 26 which fitted quite well. They din’t have stock in the IU store though so we have to go to MidV and get it from their store which fits my plan perfectly cause it’s where I’m headed to tomorrow. So that was that.

Mum and I then had dinner at this Thai Restaurant. Really yummy but the green curry was totally spicy. We went home after that. Had a shower and all. Then just as I was about to get comfortable and head to bed, Nat comes and complains that someone knocked into him and he accidently hit his private part on the edge of the chair. So apparently it was swollen and still hurt. Poor kid, at least he din’t get kicked there! OUCH!

I had a real great dream last night. I dreamt I was taller than everyone else. LOL. Which was great cause that is exactly what is going to happen. The power of visualization. Oh yeah!

Work today was as usual. Nothing much at all. Surfed the net, read blogs and online newspapers and blogs. Did my daily jobs, walked around IU during lunch break cause Joyee ate with her department people. She asked me to tag along but I din’t want to intrude or anything so I grabbed a bite at Carl Jr and scouted out discounted places for us to eat next week. The chicken rice shop is having a discounted lunch set so that sounds yummy. Then, came back, snacked on my biscuits, answered calls, sent some emails, did some odd jobs. So yup. That’s work life. I can’t wait to start studying again. The work experience is great but I really just want to be around people my age again.

I plan on (Key word being plan) to go to the gym today and actually start re-exercising again. Then I’ll watch the online episode of Glee which I missed, facebook a bit then hit the sack. Tomorrow is MY FREE DAY! No waking up early! No driving in a traffic jam. No sitting in front of a desk. Tomorrow I’m going to go out and just enjoy being by myself. Its been 3 hectic weeks and all I want to do is unwind and have some Me Time.

Well another 45 minutes till my weekend starts! I’m logging off now! OOO! Can’t wait can’t wait! My first free weekend is around the cornor!! 40 more minutes! Cheerio!

First and foremost, Robert Pattinson has FINALLY chopped off his hair. He looks a little better. (I still think he looked the cutest as Cedric Diggory in HP)

Secondly, Amanda Seyfried is gorgeous. But I do wonder what made her decide to do nude flims.. Hmm

Lee and Crystal are the finalist of American Idol. Well, no suprise there. I think Lee is going to win. Don’t really care that much.

However, I think that it was Megan Fox who really caught my attention this time round. And no, it has nothing to do with the fact that she was booted out of Transformers 3.  It has everything hoever to do with the picture below.

It’s Megan looking normal! No make up, no nothing! And while she certainly isn’t ugly, she isn’t that hot either. In fact, she looks normal. Like the rest of us. I mean, compare the pictures of her in make up and the picture of her without and it’s such a big difference!

Hah! Seeing this picture just made me feel tonnes better! Normal! Celebrities are actually normal! LOL.

Thinking about it, I have never seen Selena Gomez or Demi Lavota without make up yet. Hmm.. I wonder what they will look like.

I’ve seen Lindsay (in a photo of course!) without make up, very drunk and it sure wasn’t a pretty sight to behold.

Oh well.

It’s refreshing to see celebrities in their natural look (not natural make up. Make up STILL IS make up.), looking normal, doing normal things. I guess I will never look at Ms. Fox the same way again.

It’s funny how I get about an average of 7 hours of sleep each night and I wake up feeling exhausted. By the time I’m on my way to work, I’m dozing off again. And yes, I am feeling a little sleepy now.

On a brighter note, my face is clearing up! (Funny how I dint get breakouts when I was doing my SPM. I’m free now and VOILA!)  That’s to that Nu Skin thingy my mom got me. Plus my aunt said to use some Emora or something soap to get rid of the whiteheads. I’m not a fan of facial products (Partly because I’m too lazy to stick to any beauty regime) so I gotta say, this is the longest I’ve lasted sticking to something like this. Hope it goes well.

I can finally have lunch with Joyee today. We had a little vote and decided that we would go to take place which has lunch sets. Totally Malaysian food. And to top that up, she’s coming along for the seminar after lunch as well. It’s a Safety Seminar. I’m glad cause that means only half of my day is spent in front of this desk. It’s bye bye desk for today after lunch time!

I missed a section of Glee yesterday cause halfway through the show, I had to go and fetch Jeremy from tuition. And looks like I missed all the good parts! Before I went, I saw Rachel saying she is ready to do it (Yeah, you know, IT) with Jessie, while Finn said he wants to lose his big V to the cheerleader he doesn’t even like (I forgot her name. Damn) because he wants to make Rachel jealous (I just think that he LIKES  to attract drama to his already complicated life. Shhesh) and also Emma said she wants to do it wil Will. Oh boy. A whole lotta sex in this episode.

I don’t know what happened next but when I came back, I see Mercedes and Kurt are singing cheerleaders and then Finn comes and tells Rachel he really liked her and he knows it’s his fault that he lost her. Then Jessie comes and say’s “She’s my girl” with Rachel looking like an open mouthed fish next to him. I mean, what on earth happened while I was away??? I googled it and found that Rachel and Emma DID NOT do anything but Finn did indeed lose his big V. LIKE HOW?? And to HER?? Goodness. Glee is getting more and more complicated by the day.

Plus I saw the end bit of American Idol and Lee sang great. I hope he wins cause not only does he have a good voice but he is super cute. Plus I don’t like Casey and Crystal is not my favorite. AI isn’t as good as it used to be. Remember the times when we had David Archie and David Cook? Now THAT was a showdown. Now.. it’s just dull…

I had a bit of a meltdown last night. My sister comes running home and not only does she refuse to eat (She is on this silly thing that she has to not eat to keep slim.) but she comes and pulls me in front of the mirror and laughs. Why? Because she is the same height as me. Well she was hoping she was taller but nope, same height. She is going to outgrow me though, that’s for sure but I just wish she won’t rub it in my face. And my mum will go like ‘Kate is really sensitive about her height as Becky is taller’. I mean WTF, I honestly don’t mind but could she be more discrete as not ensure I don’t know what she is going around saying about me? I feel really silly at times and yes quite angry in fact. I know I’m short but they don’t have to make me feel BAD about it! I just don’t know what to do sometimes. It gets so frustrating and no one understands how I feel in this matter. I would expect my mum to understand, she herself being shorter than me but she seems to be gleeful that my younger sister is taller (or will be. At the rate Beck’s going, I’d give it a couple of weeks. Lol).

*Sighs*

Crap. I’m going to stop writing about this because it’s making me feel sad all over again. Okay. So yeah.

Besides that, well.. nothing much going on.

My days are still rather  boring with work taking up the whole of my day leaving whatever time I have left to rest. What an AMAZING life. LOL.

I did however have time to catch up on some school mates blogs and all. I spent the whole evening reading what they had to say and all. The latest are: Renu is having her exams (hahahahahahha. sorry. Couldn’t help it) while Amanda is pissed off at someone (Her Twitter is updated by the minute about how pissed she is. A word of caution: Don’t get Manda’s pants on fire). Christina love taking photos while Farisa has had about 30 thousand hits on her blog (The girl is gorgeous) though I could’nt really understand what she was writing as she wrote like this: Ku tk blh thn lg pa nk bt tp rase x sng lg. Yeah, writing and reading like that in Malay is an art I haven’t mastered. I really LOL-ed when I read Tharshini’s blog. She wrote this ways on how to irritate the saleperson at McD and it was soo funny. Plus I can even imagine the way she would say it. Anne is loving college. Alvin’s page is full of jokes. I also just realized that I really bully Euga alot. I mean, he IS an easy target but perhaps I should show some mercy next time.. Hmm. Nah! Too much fun!

I really really miss my school friends! I haven’t caught up with them in ages! In fact, I  haven’t even said hi in ages. Dang. I wonder what Ai Wen and Dee Lyn are up to? Which reminds me, I need to top my credit up so I start re-connecting with the girls again.

- I just wrote two paragraphs here but I deleted it. Hahah. Dint wanna post anything that might turn around and bite me in the heel later on-

My uncle is outstation today so my mum will be fetching me after work. So after work I’m going shopping at IU with her! Oh joy! I can get my tinted moisturizer and my Guess jeans and maybe I can persuade her to watch a movie! Bounty Hunter!

Another 30 minutes till lunch break! Oh gosh! Time is flying really slowly…

Well I guess I’m going to end my post here. So, till tomorrow. Tata!

Joyee is back at the office today however, I could not have lunch with her as my aunt decided she wanted to take me to lunch with my manager and my aunt’s secretary. Lovely people. We went to this chinese restaurant and ate healthy food. The food was good but quite frankly, I was still a little hungry after lunch (SHHH! Of course I din’t tell them that!).

The other VT’s and I signed up for this mangrove program in Coney Island. It robs us of a Saturday but what the heck, all in the name of fun and friends!

I was just going through my list of things I want to do/ get this week. Looks like I’d just get my tinted moisturizer and Bonita bag from 1U during one of my lunch breaks. I plan on heading down to MidV this Saturday though to complete my list. This would be my first free weekend since I started working and I plan on enjoying it!

Oh and good news, looks like there was some sort of error in the letter that my college gave me. I called Josette yesterday and she was really really nice and said that although they can’t change the CAS Statement, they will make a note in their statement that I’m actually in the Ealing Campus! So.. YAY! I’m going to the Ealing Campus which was what I really wanted. I’m so glad about that. Enrolment starts earlier but I will only get the details later on. OH JOY!

I still have 44 days to go till I end my internship and 104 days left till I leave for UK (I put my departure date as 31st of August, it’s the latest I’ll leave). Just a little over 3 months till I enter a new country and start my A levels. I’m really looking forward to it.

I can’t wait till Suresh and Claire comes back for their holidays as well. That would make time fly even more faster.

Now I just have to wait and wait and … wait..

What a great Wednesday! LOL.

I remain, an impatient Pixie.

It’s been a busy busy morning after a busy night last night.

My grandpops really wanted to celebrate his wedding anniversary even though his other half is not around any more. He was really sad that no one wished him and all. The rest of us were taken aback but then, it is understandable since he is 80 plus and comes from an older generation thinking mentality. So after work, I went home, golfed down some noodles my mum bought and went to his house. The good ol man bought us pizza and I pigged out. Unfortunately, this little turn of events meant no gym-time for Rachael and myself. =(

Sent my mum to her night class and I must say, my driving was rather rocky. Nothing drastic but I did drive over a slight curb.  I was that tired!

After that I went home, had a bath and rushed out of the house to fetch my siblings and my mum and drove straight to my aunt’s house with a small birthday cake. She looked really glad to see us. Plus I got to watch the reality show Guiliana and Bill. No offence but I don’t see how Guiliana got so famous. She isnt that pretty (well, not at all really), she is skinny with no assets whatsoever, she has a funny voice ( I guess Bill like funny, husky voices) and she is not a great wife! I mean, they don’t even live together! Bill is cute though, in an Iron Manish kinda way. I also caught a glimpse on Marion Chantour and Dominic something, the new host of E News Asia. I must say, Marion is really pretty. I think Dominic looks rather er, lala-ish but that’s just my personal opinion. (Its like he has a baby’s face on a grown man’s body!) I din’t fail to notice however that they choose two, fair (Their Eurasians) people to represent the whole of Asia! I mean, come on, if you want to see white people, watch the American version of E News. The majority of Asians are NOT fair and white. I’m not being racist here but I think that by doing that, they are giving people the wrong impression on how Asia really is. Why is everyone so obsessed with “white people”??

Put a chinese in! Put an Indian in! Put a Malay in! I mean, this is ASIA for crying out loud! We ARE darker skinned by nature and there is nothing wrong with that!

It makes me madder still because the younger generation seems to be picking up on this “white” habit. Speaking from experience, the hot girls in my school whom all the guys ran after were fair. The darker one’s were never given a second look no matter how nice their features were or how interesting they really are. It did’nt matter much to me since most of my friends were darker skinned and the fair ones were one of the few who were not bothered about skin colour. Plus we were all really active in sports so it was common for us to be under the sun and burnt.

But I feel my sisters pain when she told me that a guy told her that he rather date her friend because she was fairer and not ‘black’. Jesus, do these people know what BLACK is?? It’s the colour of our HAIR! We are brown. They even get their basic colours wrong. That just shows how screwed up they are.

I remember a classmate once telling me that I would be really really pretty if I was a shade or two fairer. She said I had good features and all. I mean, is she sayingt that now Im NOT pretty just cause I wasnt fair? Like WTH?

(Excuse my ranting here. When you live in a country where you are treated according to your skin tone, it gets to you at times. Not every person is like that though but the ranting is for those who are.)

I have nothing against fair girls and I do think some of them are beautiful. But I just wish that everyone will wake up and realize that they are beautiful girls who are darker as well. You don’t need to be fair to be beautiful. Im brown  and heck, I AM BEAUTIFUL.

It is funny how Europeans want to get tanned and will go out of their way to get darker skin either by tanning in the beach or spending a fortune in tanning saloons (I’m assuming they are costly. It’s not a fact though) while Asians all wish to get fairer and will do anything from staying out of the sun the whole day to spending a fortune on whitening products.

Well, all I got to say is that I’ve seen Snow White type girls who are gorgeous, I’ve seen tanned girls who are gorgeous, brown-skinned girls who are gorgeous, dark girls who are gorgeous, well you get the point!

Skin colour is just what it is. A colour on your skin. Now if only everyone else would realize that…